miss piggy.

home again, home again, jiggity jig.

all-nighter.

oh my goodness, it is 7:24 am.

i should be asleep, but unfortunately i am still awake.

i have not slept since 1:30 pm yesterday. it has been a long

18 hours of reading, writing, and discussing.

i seriously think i might keel over. 

i have been working on this paper for dialogue for over a week, 

every two days changing my topic and starting fresh. three days 

ago was the last time though, maybe over three days but i am not

sure seeing as my brain wants to quit on me.

as i have been working on this paper, i have gotten to a place of

frustration because i feel as though i am working my butt off

and yet nothing is coming out of it. plus,  i keep thinking about

everything i have to do for other classes, and how i have to pack 

and clean and all that great stuff that has to get done in order to

really be "free".

so as i was stressing about it, i was reminded of a verse.

and i want to share it with you because i am in a place of

having to fully depend on it in order to get through this

last day and a half. my energy, strength and ability to think 

are all gone, but i know someone whose aren't.

he said to me, 

"i can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

then he went ahead and added:

"be anxious for nothing, but in everything

by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving, make your

requests known to God. and the peace of God, which passes

all understanding will guard your hearts and your minds

in Jesus Christ."

praise the Lord.  

never ending

"you are wonderful, a friend to the weary.

you have been so faithful, your goodness, it follows me.

you are beautiful, your love is never ending.

my savior, my friend- all these years, we've been walking..."

isn't it true?

joel 2:12-14

"even now," declares the Lord, "return to me with all your heart, with fasting and weeping and mourning." rend your heart and not your garments. return to the Lord your God, for he is gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love, and he relents from sending calamity. who knows? he may turn and have pity and leave us behind a blessing..."

yesterday, i opened my bible and was headed to psalms, 

but ran into joel and these verses caught my eye. 

then right after reading joel 2, i headed onto psalm 4.

 look at what it said...

"answer me when i call to you,

oh my righteous God.

Give me relief from my distress;

be merciful to me and hear my prayer."

v. 1

i think the Lord was trying to say something.

love, 

the bumble b.  

the bumble

i just wanted to say that i love wearing my bumble.

best coat i have ever owned.

okay, so we have a problem.

i am in a really uncomfortable, unhealthy place. before i lost all this weight, i was semi-unhappy about my weight. but it seems that now that i have lost this weight i am in a even deeper place of unhappiness. i want to lose more, and more, and more. 

and i guess even though intellectually

i know that the problem lies deeper than my

outward appearance, i can't seem to convince myself

that even if i do lose more i won't be happy until

i fix the inside.

i just feel so ungrateful, 

and disappointed in myself

for not being able to be content. 

i wish that what i have already accomplished

would be enough, but it doesn't seem to be.

i leave you with the fact that

life is complicated.

love to you,

bumble b.  

good news!

i had an interview for a desk attendant position today, and Catherine told me that she thinks that i would be perfect. she said that both her and the head of the dorms were very impressed with my application. they said that the way that i typed everything up was fantastic! she said i was personable, a leader, and had a good head on my shoulders. then she went as far as to tell me to apply to be an RA because she thinks i would be a fantastic. so i am going to the meeting come thursday evening, and feel as though i have the desk attendant position for sure. exciting, huh?

being an RA would pay for my housing next year, isn't that great?

snowing....

let it snow. let it snow. let it snow.