magnificent

"he is jealous for me, 

he loves like hurricane.

i am a tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

when all of a sudden, i am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

and i realize just how beautiful you are, and how great your affections are for me.

oh how he loves us,

oh how, oh how he loves us.

he is jealous for me,

he loves like a hurricane.

i am tree bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.

when all of a sudden, i am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory.

and i realize just how beautiful you are, and how great your affections are for me.

oh how he loves us,

oh how, oh how he loves.

and we are his portion, and he is our prize.

drawn to redemption by the grace in his eyes.

if his grace is an ocean, we are all sinking.

heaven meets earth like an unforeseen kiss,

and my hearts turns violently inside my chest.

i don't have time to maintain these regrets,

when i think about...

how he loves us.

oh how he loves us.

oh how, oh how he loves us."

"many, o Lord my God are the wonders you have done.

the things you planned for us n one can recount to you;

were I to speak and tell of them, 

they would be too many to declare."

psalm 40:5

i cannot say it enough.

the Lord our God is magnificent.

magnificent, magnificent, magnificent.

imagine what he saved us from.

jesus.

"praise the Lord, O my soul;

all my inmost being, praise his holy name.

praise the Lord, O my should,

and forget not all his benefits -

who forgives all your sins

and heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit

and crowns you with love and compassion,

who satisfies your desires with good things

so that your youth is renewed like the eagle's.

the Lord works righteousness

and justice for all the oppressed."

psalm 103:1-6

what a wonderful day it will be when

we get to see him face to face.

i am praying for you all today.

i hope you are doing well,

and spending some time in the word.

my dear sister reminded me yesterday that today

these kids are my ministry, and she is right.

i need to be ministering love to them,

and that needs to be enough.

for all i know that is God's big plan for me,

these wonderful, beautiful children.

h & m,

thanks for the opportunity, i am loving being

here with them. they truly are a blessing.

off to teach the kids about Jesus,

b.

i've been missing you.

it's been a long, eventful last two months.

jesus is working on me and it's been really hard.

some days feel so overwhelming and others as light as a feather.

i am just trying to stay focused on the big picture.

i would like to be able to have a ministry for my hands to do today.

i would like to know where exactly i am headed in life.

i would like to be consistently faithful.

i would like to have it all together.

but patience is a virtue and jesus is faithful.

so i will rest in that today.

off to play with these little cuties.

convicted.

man, oh man.

i woke up convicted this morning.

and let me just say:

be sure that you want what you pray for,

because he is not messing around. 

anway, nights are the time when i feel the most...

vulnerable.

all the things that i forgot to do creep up on with me,

along with a roller coaster of emotions.

so after years of getting overwhelmed, i finally decided

to pray when i go to sleep.

i have been doing this for years now but the intimacy of 

prayer is progressively growing.

it used to be all about asking, but thankfully it has become more.

so last night as i was praying, i asked the Lord to reveal my sin to me.

i wanted to have "clean hands and a pure heart". (psalm 24:4)

and let me tell you, he did just that.

i woke up this morning earlier than usual to shower, and do laundry.

i know this week is going to be crazy, so i wanted to get a head start.

i need all the time i can get. 

seriously.

so as i was praying in the shower, i was asking the Lord for strength.

i knew i would need it for the physical strain this week would have,

but not for the emotional one he was going to cause in me.

as i was standing in front of the mirror, 

hair dripping wet, in only a towel,

it hit me.

i claim to believe in the same God who saved the Israelites,

and yet i sit, complain and gossip not once praying for 

restoration to take place...

if he can do a good work in me,

then he can do a good work in others,

including those who have caused 

tremendous amounts of pain.

i say this with tear-filled eyes,

we serve an almighty God.

he is so, so, so, so, so magnificent.

and i know that you have heard it,

read it, said it and thought it but 

just wait till you feel it.

it will turn your world upside down.

it makes your life without constant

praise for him seem so mundane. 

all that to say, i leave you with two passages

to encourage you to pray and believe 

that God can change people.

don't be fearful about what's up ahead.

he's got it all worked out.

"in all my prayers for all of you, i always pray with joy

because of your partnership in the gospel from the 

first day until now, being confident of this:

that he who began a good work in you will carry it on

to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

philippians 1:4-6

"but i tell you who hear me: love your enemies, 

do good to those who hate you;bless those who curse you, 

pray for those who mistreat you." 

luke 6:28

faithful.

"morning by morning i wake up to find,

 the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.

 season by season, i watch him amazed in awe

 of the mystery of his perfect ways.

 all i have need of his hand will provide,

 he's always been faithful to me.

 i can't remember in trial or a pain,

 he did not recycle to bring me gain.

 i can't remember one single regret

 in serving God only and trusting his hand. 

 all i have need of his hand will provide,

 he's always been faithful to me. 

 this is my anthem, this is my song.

 the theme of the stories i've heard for so long.

 God has been faithful, he will be again.

 His loving compassion, it knows no end.

 all i have need of, his hand will provide. 

 he's always been faithful,

 he's always been faithful,

 he's always been faithful to me."

he always has been and he always will be.

we serve the same God who freed the israelites,

who saved daniel from the lines den,

who raised lazarus from the dead,

who cast out demons and made the blind to see.

we serve a God bigger than any power known to man.

all i know is that i can't help but praise him,

because even in times of trials he is faithful.

remember that.

love you all. 

because he is good.

"trust in the lord with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding;

but in all your ways acknowledge him and he

shall direct your paths."

proverbs 3:5-6

warrior -poet

i've got a couple things to share with all you lovelies today.

1. i went out to eat with my professor scot mcknight,

 same guy i referenced for the best love

 quote that has ever graced my ears. 

we went to JBs, a jewish deli.

so here's a shout out to my jewish sister, lucy b.

keep it real in kansas.

he took us to get pastrami sandwiches,

i am thinking dad would be proud.

so if you are daddy - o, holler at your girl.

2. i am reading this book written by leslie ludy.

it was recommended by a good friend.

it's called "answering the guy questions".

let me make a few disclaimers before i mention 

a certain part of this "set-apart girl's" guide.

disclaimer une: there is something about 

christian books, i guess you could say the majority 

are all repetitive.  no seriously, if you have ever read one 

you know what i am talking about. the author could sum up 

what they said in five chapters into 3 pages. it's a problem. 

apparently, none of them have the gift of conciseness.

disclaimer deux: i hate books that promise revelations about the

 opposite sex, and then just leave you with the same ol' sayings 

your great aunt told you. it's not new people. 

let's get our acts together.

don't promise things you can't deliver.

disclaimer tois: she is kind of cheesy but overall her message is good.

so now that you know all of the reasons why you should doubt her,

let me give you the reason to trust her.

 in the second chapter of her book, she talks about 

warrior-poet manhood. in other words, she speaks of how guys are

 called to be so much more than what they are. instead of sitting around 

making excuses for perversion or a life full of selfishness,

 they are supposed to be fighting for our protection.

she describes a warrior-poet has one who:

"has made a sacred covenant with his holy King.

he has chosen to deny himself, take up his cross and 

follow Christ. he no longer lives to please his own 

selfish desires. he lives to please his lord. he is not seeking to 

draw attention to himself,but to draw all eyes to Jesus. 

As John the Baptist said, 'He must increase,but I must decrease.' 

(john 3:30) that's the motto of the warrior-poet's life." 

men who are on fire for the Lord are the most attractive 

men out there. seriously. he could be a russian midget with 

coke bottle glasses but if he loves the Lord, i am sold. 

in all seriousness though,

i don't only want to find a man who lives such a life,

but i also want to.  that above quote is becoming 

a daily prayer. i want Jesus to break my selfish heart.

i want to live solely for Him.

i want to draw attention to Christ.

i want to decrease, so my King can increase.

ludy goes on to talk about about what her and 

her husband's relationship looked like before they got

 married. she says:

"everytime i was around eric, i found that afterward i 

was not thinking about eric ludy. i was thinking about 

Jesus Christ. Often after spending an hour or two listening to 

Him passionately talk about the word of God, i ended up in my room 

with my bible, eagerly pouring over the scriptures and

 seeking to know Christ more. Unlike anyone i had ever know, 

eric ludy drew me closer to Jesus. in fact, his example was 

a key factor in my own decision to live a radically 

surrendered life for Christ."

can you imagine?

for so long, you don't think it's possible,

but it is. dang, if you guys are ever praying for me,

 one of my biggest requests is for a man with a 

"warrior-poet" heart.  i want our talks to be about god's 

goodness. i want to know he will lead our family into a closer

 relationship with Christ. i want a "man after God's own heart" 

for a husband. if that is what you pray for me,

how blessed i will be.

i have alot more to share from this book,

and my reading but unfortunately i have to run

and finish up some cell bio homework.

so longingly await the next entry where you

will be blessed once again by leslie ludy and her King.

she's got a lot of good stuff to say.

i love you all.

more than you know.

for reals.