the blame game

i was not asking her to defend herself, i was asking her to say sorry for hurting me.

for speaking rudely.

for being inconsiderate.

i did not want to talk because i knew it was going to end up being a blame game, 

and i was not up for the challenge. we have "the defender" in corner 1 and "the blamed one" in corner 2. it always ends the same, in every friendship of mine.

i always end up saying sorry and asking to be forgiven.

and here is the problem: we were all uncomfortable yesterday, but we tried to make the best of it. we tried to laugh it off, and speak nicely to one another - yet she was not too excited about that idea. so we were left with a debby downer and yet we are getting punished for not liking her acting like that.

i am so sick of apologizing for stupid stuff.