don't let your love grow cold

"take all your love with you in all the paths you walk in.

  i can't say your life will always go the way it should, 

  but i can say that God is always good. 

and when the cold wind blows, which i know it will.

and when you feel alone, which i know you will.

and when the cold wind blows like we know it will.

don't let your love grow cold. 

don't let your love grow cold. 

don't let your love grow cold."

he is always good, always. 

God is good all the time,

and all the time God is good!

decisons

"hello Lord, it's me your child. i have a few things on my mind. right now i am faced with big decisions, and i am wondering if you have a minute. right now i don't hear so well and i was wondering if you could speak up. i know that you tore the veil so that i could sit with you in person and hear what you're saying - but right now, i just can't hear you. i don't doubt your sovereignty, i doubt my own ability to hear what you're saying and to do the right thing, and i desperately want to do the right thing. somewhere in the back of my mind, i think you are telling me to wait, and though patience has never been mine, Lord, i will wait to hear from you."

honesty

"here in the stillness, where thoughts are born. here in our frailty we are tattered and torn.

    here in confession, here in our mess, here in the place where we are mostly undressed - mostly.

       oh honesty, oh honestly - the truth be told for the saving of our souls. 

          here in the corner, where we craft our pain. here in the open we are laying our blame.

             oh honesty, oh honestly - the truth be told for the saving of our souls.

               only the truth and truthfulness can save us now...."

this is so hard.

pray.

breakthrough

"and they didn't love God because He hated their food, but WE love God."

 chloe, 6 

take note:

"God does not call the equipped, He equips the called."

dreams

it is so wonderful to see the dreams he gave my sweet sisters.

i am so inspired and excited to get involved.

what a blessing they are.

my wheels are spinning, be afraid, be very very afraid...

love146

www.love146.org

i am starting a chapter on campus.

i am getting fundraisers going.

i am going to hold an art night.

i am going to do my part.

stand up for those who are too weak.

speak up for those who don't have a voice.

something has got to change...

"i saw what i saw, and i can't forget it."

"i saw what i saw, and i can't forget it.

i heard what i heard and i can't go back.

i know what i know and i can't deny it.

something on the road, cut me to the soul.

your pain has changed me,

your dream inspires,

your face a memory,

your hope a fire.

your courage asks me what i am afraid of

and what i know of love.

we've done what we've done and we can't erase it.

we are what we are and it's more than enough.

we have what we have, but it's no substitution.

something on the road touched my very soul.

i say what i say with no hesitation.

i have what i have and i am giving it up.

i do what i do with deep conviction.

something on the road, changed my world."

sara groves / "i saw what i saw" / tell me what you know

i have no words to describe last night.

it broke me to the core.

it was everything i have been speaking about.

how the Lord was preparing me for something.

how He is here and He is getting ready to move. 

i went with selfish intentions of being blessed by sara,

but quickly found myself so overtaken.

the artists sang of hope. renewal. redemption. callings. brokenness. fear. newness.

and i could identify with every single one.

i wish that somehow i could go back, and relive that night because it

was such a healing process in which I saw my Father.

as i have grown in the Lord, my heart has become more tender,

as i was shown that last night. i can usually hold my own when

they talk about poverty and such. but the Lord has done a good 

work in me. unexpectedly last night, i was full of sadness and tears.

i could not keep speak.

i could not breathe.

i was completely broken.

the stories from last night and everything that will be said concerning this concert

last night comes from the heart. 

i saw what i saw, is the perfect song to describe how i am feeling.

i hope you can understand the deepness of this conviction.

it is real.

i want to tell a story, it is about a girl named Elizabeth.

Elizabeth is a fifteen year old girl originally from the Philippines.

She attended a local church with her family and felt as though

God was calling her into the ministry. After looking into education

options, Elizabeth discovered that in order to afford the necessary 

schooling she would need to get a job. An older woman from Elizabeth's 

church convinced Elizabeth and her family to allow the older woman to 

take Elizabeth to one of the neighboring cities and help her find a job. 

Out of her parent's safety, Elizabeth was taken to a foreign country,

with a different language and sold to a sex trafficker. 

The sex trafficker took Elizabeth to a youth hostel and sold her for 

a high price. Elizabeth found herself surrounded by other prostitutes

telling her of her God's inability to save such a dirty human.

As she prayed at night on her knees, they would call out to her 

saying "Your God does not hear people like you." 

"He is far from this place, very very far."

 "Stop praying, it is not doing anything." 

But Elizabeth would continue to pray, and cry out to her 

Lord saying "All I ask is that you save me, Lord. Please, please save me!" 

After months and months of receiving cruel treatment Elizabeth 

was saved during a bust on the brothel house. As the leader of the 

investigation, a man walked through the brothel looking for anything

he could find that would assist the prosecutors.

As he walked into the girls room, he found Elizabeth's mattress. 

Above her mattress written in her own handwriting and own language was:

"The Lord is my light and my salvation -

 whom shall I fear?

The Lord is the stronghold of my life -

of whom shall I be afraid?"

Psalm 27:1

If Elizabeth is not afraid, then why are we?

Thats only one of the very many stories that was shared last night, and here is the thing guys.

There are over 26 million slaves in this world. 26 million.

i just believe i am called to something more.

this is not right, not right at all.

we are called in Isaiah 1:17 to:

"seek justice, encourage the oppressed.

Defend the cause of the fatherless,

plead the case of the widow."

i have to go.

i have to set these people free.

they are in bondage to so many chains,

and hardly anyone is trying to break them free.

i really feel like this is it.

"sell everything you have and give to the poor,

and you will have treasure in heave.

then come, and follow me."

Luke 18:22

that is exactly what i intend on doing.

i said i wanted a ministry for girls.

i said i wanted to set captives free and break the bondage.

i said i wanted girls to feel their worth, and be renewed.

i said all these things with the intent of fixing the US' girls - but i had it all wrong.

orphan girls in the philippines, who were previously sex slaves

were asked what they were afraid of and they answered:

• no one will want me.
• i will appear as "damaged goods"
• the dark
• touch
• people's eyes

those are the girls i need to be working for.

those are the girls who need to know of Jesus and the 

way He loves them.

someone has to speak up. someone has to stand in the gap.

"If anyone would come after me,

he must deny himself and take up his cross

and follow me."

Matthew 16:24

i have never wanted to go.

i am convicted.

i truly believe this is it.

 

i am wasting money, time and words.

i can't live like this anymore.

i know to most of you this sounds absurd,

and like a foolish decision, but i have to go.

i can't waste my life, i have only got one 

and i have got a story to tell.

"i want to add to the beauty. i want to tell a better story,

oh and shine with a light thats burning up inside.

and this is grace, an invitation to be beautiful."

sara groves / add to the beauty

i could not sleep last night.

i stayed up for sometime.

it haunts me, and i believe it will until 

i start making an effort in trying to fix it.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is one me,

because the Lord has anointed to preach good news to the poor.

He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,

to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness

for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord's favor

and the day of vengeance of our God, to comfort all who mourn,

and provide for those who grieve in Zion - to bestow 

on them a crown of glory

instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, 

and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair! 

They will be called oaks of righteousness,

a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor."

Isaiah 61:1-3

consider getting down on your knees tonight before the Lord,

and pleading with Him on behalf of these

children for freedom to come their way.

help carry their burden, they can't do it on their own.

"Childhood runs across the meadow, taken in the night

and told that you'll be working in the city for awhile.

It's peering from the windows, its leaning in the doorway,

flickering like on a candle lying on the floor.

Say a prayer, say a prayer in the night.

Say a prayer, say a prayer in the night.

Childhood working with your papa, chained to your mom.

This is all your live for, debts that linger on.

Bearing all the glory, bearing all the weight.

Knowledge of such hardship, at such a tender age.

Say a prayer, say a prayer in the night.

Say a prayer, say a prayer in the night."

sara groves / "say a prayer"

for now, that is all i can say.

i have so much more going on in my head and heart.

princess zulu

below are the notes from chapel this morning.

we had an amazing woman of God come and speak.

her ministry is working on behalf of those with aids,

seeing as she, herself is an aids orphan.

i hope you can see the progression and

confirmation that the Lord showed me today.

He truly does speak.

Princess Zulu's words are in green.

My thoughts and prayers are in white. 

Anderson Chapel/September 17, 2008

"What are we doing here?

  Fill the streets out there. 

  Let us dance for you!

  Let us dance for you!"

we so easily miss what is in the moment because 

we are looking toward what is next! 

What else is there for me?

"For such a time as this..."

Lord,

Distract me! I want my eyes to be focused on you.

Like Isaac said, "Distract me from myself!"

I need my needs and desires to come second. 

I need my eyes to be focused.

What can we do?

Right now Lord - what do you want?

Show me - prepare me to go!

There are demonic forces that constantly ask

and beg us to bow down to them.

Esther 4:12

We are not in this place for no reason. 

If we are going to be relevant, or make a difference 

in this world - we have to be people of prayer. 

If you begin with prayer, you will be sustained.

Lord, make this about you, not me.

Draw me into your presence. Let me hear this,

feel this - know you are here. I desire you.

I desire to live for you and you alone. 

Prayer calls for a relationship, humbleness, a life sacrificed.

If we are going to be effective,

we need to feel other's pain.

We need to take on their burdens,

care for them. Help those who are

struggling. Look beyond our own needs.

Where is the church? Where are you?

We need to look beyond our own 

situations and circumstances. 

Are we broken by the injustices of this world?

Someone has to speak. The silence has to be broken.

Are you convinced you are the only one who can do it?

Are you the only one with those abilities?

Are you convinced this is your time?

Never underestimate what God has in store for you!

Pray without ceasing. Do things for your Father.

John 8:12

"I am the light of the world. 

Whoever follows me will never walk 

in darkness, but will have the light of life."

Let your light shine, in hopes to bring the Lord glory.

Know that life is not measured by the years you live,

but by what you do, who you live for.

Jesus seeks the final satisfaction of justice.

Can't you hear the people crying:

"Who will come and set us free?"

Isaiah 6:8

"Here I am, send me!" 

Let the things we do be for you.

Let us trust and not doubt.

Let us love with your love.

Let our dreams and visions live on.

Let us not be discouraged,

but rather be encouraged through our

trials because we know God is working!

Let us not stay silent.

Let justice come.

Lord, you are good!

Your love endures forever.

To you be the glory!

Please follow this link and watch this video.

It raises questions. It will move you.

www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVNOPTnro_0

The Lord is tugging at my heart.

I don't know what He is preparing me for,

or where He is going to send me - but I do

feel that the time is coming.

I trust Him, it is amazing the peace I have.

I can't explain it guys.

He is working.

He is moving in me, and on this campus.

I am so excited to see my Father work.

Things are about to change!

How awesome it is it that in the beginning

of chapel I prayed that the Lord would show me

and prepare me to go, and then later Princess Zulu 

pulls out Isaiah 6:8.  Things like this happen for a reason.

He is moving, He truly is!

Wow.

set the world on fire

"i want to set the world on fire, until it is burning bright for you. i am small, but you are big enough. i am weak, but you are strong enough to: take my dreams, come and give them wings. Lord, with you there is nothing i cannot do. i want to feed the hungry children, and reach across the farthest land, and tell the broken there is healing and mercy in the Father's hand. i am small, but you are big enough. i am weak, but you are strong enough to: take my dreams, come and give them wings. Lord, with you there is nothing i cannot do. my hands, my feet, my everything. my life, my love. Lord, use me. i want to set the world on fire. take my dreams, come and give them wings. Lord, with you there's nothing i cannot do. take my dreams, come and give them wings..."

this is true,

deep,

and a desire.

i want to set the world on fire.

i want us to burn bright for Him.

can you imagine this generation on fire for the Lord?

i want it so badly, and struggle to explain to you the depths at which it falls. 

but to see my peers living for the Lord, would astound me and bring me such joy!

young men as strong and fearless as David?

young women as confident as Esther?

both fully giving themselves as sacrifices to the King?

please pray for this.

pray for a revival in the hearts of God's children.

we desperately need it.

pray for me if you think of it.

i want to go to Virginia for a camp this summer 

that is under Summit ministries.

everything that is said above Summit ministries 

works on living out - what a perfect place for me to be!

the finances are not there for me at this point

but i do believe the Lord can and will provide

for me if this is His desire for me this summer.

i want to be in His will.

check out the website:

www.summit.org

laura, 

thanks for the suggestion.

you were right.

it is my hope for this world.

you my dear,

have blessed me!

prayer

this weekend has been absolutely crazy.

seriously? seriously.

all this to say that if you think about me, please pray.

don't pray about me, just talk to your father - he wants to hear from you.

just let it be reminder of someone loving you.

i am excited to go dig in.

"God is good all the time, and all the time God is good."

no school is cool

the north end of the chicago river has flooded over,

meaning our dorms are flooded, and the generators are down.

all that to say no school tomorrow.

here are some photos for you all - compliments of my friends' facebook.

park community church

i believe i have found my home.

today i walked for miles in the pouring down rain,

but it was so worth it.

the people there are loving, the music is touching, the preaching is truthful and my heart is overjoyed.

he spoke on everything i have been feeling.

my main struggle when it comes to christianity - is believing this:

"and grace my fears relieved,

how precious did that grace appear

the hour i first believed. 

my chains are gone,

i've been set free

my God, my Savior has ransomed me.

and like a flood his mercy rains,

unending love, amazing grace.

the Lord has promised good to me,

His word, my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be,

as long as life endures."

i have to go back.

i can't explain what it felt like today.

i did not want to leave that place.

i wanted to work with those people, i wanted to spend the rest of my life

worshipping there with those people, listening to jackson talk about 

issues of christianity and how this world has got it all wrong.

it is where i am happiest, in fellowship with believers.

i can now see why God has me going into ministry - because it is my passion.

i love you all.

start blogs kiddos, i want to hear from you.

its a great way to stay updated.

my hat is off to laura and heather - blog it out!

a couple things

 a couple things from today:

1. i am working with a ministry called breakthrough. one part of breakthrough's ministry is to work with children who attend a chicago public school that does not provide the necessary academic environment for that child's needs. we spend four and half hours playing, 

tutoring and teaching these children what they are missing either from home or from their school. the average reading level is two and a half grade levels behind what grade they are in. amazing, huh? anyway my story concentrates on a kindergartner named Addy. Addy is the daughter of two of the employees of breakthrough. She is an adorable little girl. She has bright blue eyes and long curly blonde hair - but what caught me completely off guard and something

   i cannot get off of my mind is her voice. imagine a sea of black children with a tiny little white girl stuck in the middle. Addy looks like she comes out of a gap catalog but when she speaks, all you hear is a deep, husky old black ladies voice.  it is the 

funniest thing you have ever heard. i feel like it is not real.  she says things like:

 " that's what i'm talking about!" 

"i ain't done with that."

"come on jamel, give it back. it beese mine."

(side note: i know beese is not a word, but that is what she says.)

thought dad would enjoy that.

i will have to do a video recording of her and get it posted up here for you guys to see.

you would love it.

2. i cannot explain the feelings breakthrough give me, 

besides the fact that i can see myself doing that for the rest of my

life. there is something about it that just clicks. something

that brings me a sense of completion. like i am right in my element, 

exactly where i am supposed to be. those kids need so much attention.

there are so many areas where they are in desperate need of a watchful eye. if you think of it, please pray for both them and i as i continue to work there.

3. i am thinking of double majoring. i think i am adding psychology.

it interests me so much and i feel it would be of benefit.  oh and i think i might take two languages, both greek and swedish. both sound incredible. 

 

4. i found a sweet study abroad program.

i can go almost anywhere and it will cost me the

same exact it costs me to attend North Park.

not a bad deal, eh?

5. tomorrow i take my first test.

math.

pray i do well.

i am a little nervous.

i have set a goal and i must achieve it.

i have studied for what seems like forever.

hopefully that pays off.

6. i miss you guys.

not in a crying, weeping way.

just in a way that i could grab a dinner or cup of joe with you all, get a hug.

i love you all.

you have blessed me.

thank you.

goodnight.

 

the blame game

i was not asking her to defend herself, i was asking her to say sorry for hurting me.

for speaking rudely.

for being inconsiderate.

i did not want to talk because i knew it was going to end up being a blame game, 

and i was not up for the challenge. we have "the defender" in corner 1 and "the blamed one" in corner 2. it always ends the same, in every friendship of mine.

i always end up saying sorry and asking to be forgiven.

and here is the problem: we were all uncomfortable yesterday, but we tried to make the best of it. we tried to laugh it off, and speak nicely to one another - yet she was not too excited about that idea. so we were left with a debby downer and yet we are getting punished for not liking her acting like that.

i am so sick of apologizing for stupid stuff.

babylon

today's story:

as i am sitting in introduction to bible today, 

i look in front of me and i see a kid wearing quite an

intriguing jacket.

on the back of the jacket, is the name brand and a logo.

the logo reads: "internationally known."

if that is not buying into babylon, i don't know what is.

grace

"daddy, daddy do you miss me?

  the way i crawled upon your knee?

  those childish games of hide and seek seem a million miles away.

  am i lost in some illusion? 

  or am i what you thought i'd be?

  

now it seems, i've found myself in need to be forgiven.

is there still room upon that knee?

if i give my life, if i lay it down, 

can you turn this life around, around?

can i be made clean by this offering or my soul?

can i be made whole again?

have i labored off of nothing?

trying to make it on my own.

fear to reach out to the hand who understands me?

say 'i'd rather be here all alone.'

it's all my fault, i sit and wallow in seclusion.

as if i had no hope at all, i guess truth becomes you.

i have seen it all motion, that pride becomes before a fall.

if i give my life, if i lay it down, 

can you turn this life around around?

can i be made clean by this offering of my soul?

can i be made whole again?

can i offer up this simple prayer?

pray it finds a simple ear?

a scratch in your infinite time?

not withstanding my fallings not withstanding my crimes?

jennifer knapp/"whole again"/kansas

"if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive 

us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

I John 1:9

something about that song today hit me.

rest in His forgiveness.

"My grace is sufficient for you, 

for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9