convicted.

man, oh man.

i woke up convicted this morning.

and let me just say:

be sure that you want what you pray for,

because he is not messing around. 

anway, nights are the time when i feel the most...

vulnerable.

all the things that i forgot to do creep up on with me,

along with a roller coaster of emotions.

so after years of getting overwhelmed, i finally decided

to pray when i go to sleep.

i have been doing this for years now but the intimacy of 

prayer is progressively growing.

it used to be all about asking, but thankfully it has become more.

so last night as i was praying, i asked the Lord to reveal my sin to me.

i wanted to have "clean hands and a pure heart". (psalm 24:4)

and let me tell you, he did just that.

i woke up this morning earlier than usual to shower, and do laundry.

i know this week is going to be crazy, so i wanted to get a head start.

i need all the time i can get. 

seriously.

so as i was praying in the shower, i was asking the Lord for strength.

i knew i would need it for the physical strain this week would have,

but not for the emotional one he was going to cause in me.

as i was standing in front of the mirror, 

hair dripping wet, in only a towel,

it hit me.

i claim to believe in the same God who saved the Israelites,

and yet i sit, complain and gossip not once praying for 

restoration to take place...

if he can do a good work in me,

then he can do a good work in others,

including those who have caused 

tremendous amounts of pain.

i say this with tear-filled eyes,

we serve an almighty God.

he is so, so, so, so, so magnificent.

and i know that you have heard it,

read it, said it and thought it but 

just wait till you feel it.

it will turn your world upside down.

it makes your life without constant

praise for him seem so mundane. 

all that to say, i leave you with two passages

to encourage you to pray and believe 

that God can change people.

don't be fearful about what's up ahead.

he's got it all worked out.

"in all my prayers for all of you, i always pray with joy

because of your partnership in the gospel from the 

first day until now, being confident of this:

that he who began a good work in you will carry it on

to completion until the day of Christ Jesus."

philippians 1:4-6

"but i tell you who hear me: love your enemies, 

do good to those who hate you;bless those who curse you, 

pray for those who mistreat you." 

luke 6:28

faithful.

"morning by morning i wake up to find,

 the power and comfort of God's hand in mine.

 season by season, i watch him amazed in awe

 of the mystery of his perfect ways.

 all i have need of his hand will provide,

 he's always been faithful to me.

 i can't remember in trial or a pain,

 he did not recycle to bring me gain.

 i can't remember one single regret

 in serving God only and trusting his hand. 

 all i have need of his hand will provide,

 he's always been faithful to me. 

 this is my anthem, this is my song.

 the theme of the stories i've heard for so long.

 God has been faithful, he will be again.

 His loving compassion, it knows no end.

 all i have need of, his hand will provide. 

 he's always been faithful,

 he's always been faithful,

 he's always been faithful to me."

he always has been and he always will be.

we serve the same God who freed the israelites,

who saved daniel from the lines den,

who raised lazarus from the dead,

who cast out demons and made the blind to see.

we serve a God bigger than any power known to man.

all i know is that i can't help but praise him,

because even in times of trials he is faithful.

remember that.

love you all. 

because he is good.

"trust in the lord with all your heart,

and lean not on your own understanding;

but in all your ways acknowledge him and he

shall direct your paths."

proverbs 3:5-6