more than just a song.

lord, i have a heavy burden of all i've seen,

and it's more than i can handle.

but your word is burning like a fire

shut up in my bones...

and i can't let it go.

and when i'm weary and overwrought

with so many battles left unfought.

i think of paul and sylas in the prison yard,

i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars.

and when the saints go marching in,

i want to be one of them.

lord, it's all that i can't carry and cannot leave behind,

but your word has compelled me.

cause when i think of all who've gone before me and lived the faithful life.

and when i'm weary and overwrought

with so many battles left unfought.

i think of paul and silas in the prison yard,

i hear their song of freedom rising to the stars.

i see the shepherd moses in the pharoh's court

i hear his call for freedom for the people of the lord.

and when the saints go marching in, i want to be one of them.

i see the long quiet walk along the underground railroad,

i see the slave awakening to the value of her soul.

i see the young missionary and the end of the spear,

i see his family returning with no trace of fear.

i see the long, hard shadows of calcutta nights;

i see the sisters standing by the leper's side.

i see the young girl huddled on the brother floor,

i see the man with a passion come and kicking down the door.

i see the man of sorrows and his long troubled road

i see the world on his shoulders, and my easy load.

and when the saints go marching in, i want to be one of them.

the italicized part, i have come to find is more than it seems.

it's not only in this physical realm and what a great man did

for a poor beaten down woman - but also what our king has 

done for us. hold tight to the fact that we are no longer slaves, 

but rather we are free and full of value because a man with a 

passion for his beloved kicked down the door and saved us.

be thankful for that today. i know i sure am.

wheel.

you can build a house of leaves,

and live like it's an evergreen.

it's just a season thing,

it's just this thing the seasons do.

and that's the way this wheel keeps working out.

and you won't be the first, 

no you won't be the first to love me. 

you can find me, if you ever want again.

i will be around the bend, i'll be around the bend,

i'll be around, i'll be around...

and if you never stop when you wave goodbye,

you just might find if you give it time you will

wave hello again, you might just wave hello again. 

that's the way this wheel keeps working out.

you can't love too much one part of it,

you can't love too much one part of it,

you can't love too much one part.

i believe that my life is going to see,

the love i give return to me. 

inspiration

okay, seriously.

i love these two women.

a whole freaking lot.

i miss you two.

see you in 16 days!

trip #5

.kc here i come. 

ain't gonna lose you....

you can put a stick in my spokes,

i can be the butt of your jokes,

i can be the laughing stock, i can be your hoax

but i ain't gonna lose you.

they can come and tear my house down,

they can run me out of town,

they can tie me up, call me a clown

but i ain't gonna lose you.

they can make me turn my back on my friends,

send me away to san quentin,

put me in hole, a thousand times

but i ain't gonna lose you.

throw me in a hurricane,

tell the whole world i have gone insane,

run an electric shock to my brain

but i ain't gonna lose you.

i'll sing it from the rooftop,

i'll sing it from the bus stop,

i'll sing it on the street drunk to a cop,

but i ain't gonna lose you.

thank you.

i've been feeling your grip around my veins,

like a bunch of balloons, you keep me from drifting away.

so i can't thank you enough babe.

i can't thank you enough babe. 

when i hang my head, and lose my sight

and i can't get up, your my kite. 

so i can't thank you enough babe.

i can't thank you enough babe.

sometimes i land on all fours,

but you come pick me up off my

concrete floor. even after what i said

to you, you look past it and you always

come through. 

so i can't thank you enough babe.

i can't thank you enough babe. 

i can't thank you enough babe.

i can't thank you enough...

love.

sleep, don't weep my sweet love.

your face so wet cause my day went rough. 

so do what you must do to find yourself,

wear another shoe, paint my shelf. 

those times that i was broke, you stood strong.

i hope i find a place where i feel i belong.

sleep, don't weep my sweet love. 

i can feel it.

i sold my piano, it couldn't come with me.

i locked up my bedroom and i walked out into the air.

nothing i needed was left there behind me, i walked 

out through the shadows of washington square. 

i wandered the highways from dublin to berkley

and i heard the songbirds. i looked at the fountain 

that left me with nothing, just memories of walking

through washington square. now i live in the shadows,

where light is electric. the time is a number that rests

on a wall and nobody knows me, my friends and my family

are as far from this city as washington square. 

so cover this warm night in a blanket of starlight,

and i will follow this freeway out into the air.

in case you should wonder, and wanted to find me

i am traveling homeward to washington square. 

i am traveling homeward to washington square. 

reverse.

i wish there was a button you could push that wiped away all you ever were and ever knew and you could start over. maybe your dreams, passions and gifts stayed with you but everything else disappeared. i want to get a job in downtown chicago. i want an apartment right off an el stop, that i can decorate. i want to move things in. i don't want to know anyone, i want to be free of relationships and people. i want to be by myself. i want to wake up alone and go to sleep alone. i want to drink coffee by myself in the mornings at an old white kitchen table. i want to have a golden retriever, that is old. i want to play counting crows with my windows open. i want an art room. i want to have a part time job in a coffee shop or in paper source at nights. i want to walk blocks and blocks from my work to get home. i want to go garage and antique shopping to find knick knacks for my apartment. i want to journal in a small cafe. i want to create. i want to have an all white bed plush with white bedding. i want to be twenty-seven. i want my own life. 

coop de doop

i cannot wait to see this kid.

.seriously.

i don't think i have ever loved someone so much.