park community church

i believe i have found my home.

today i walked for miles in the pouring down rain,

but it was so worth it.

the people there are loving, the music is touching, the preaching is truthful and my heart is overjoyed.

he spoke on everything i have been feeling.

my main struggle when it comes to christianity - is believing this:

"and grace my fears relieved,

how precious did that grace appear

the hour i first believed. 

my chains are gone,

i've been set free

my God, my Savior has ransomed me.

and like a flood his mercy rains,

unending love, amazing grace.

the Lord has promised good to me,

His word, my hope secures.

He will my shield and portion be,

as long as life endures."

i have to go back.

i can't explain what it felt like today.

i did not want to leave that place.

i wanted to work with those people, i wanted to spend the rest of my life

worshipping there with those people, listening to jackson talk about 

issues of christianity and how this world has got it all wrong.

it is where i am happiest, in fellowship with believers.

i can now see why God has me going into ministry - because it is my passion.

i love you all.

start blogs kiddos, i want to hear from you.

its a great way to stay updated.

my hat is off to laura and heather - blog it out!

a couple things

 a couple things from today:

1. i am working with a ministry called breakthrough. one part of breakthrough's ministry is to work with children who attend a chicago public school that does not provide the necessary academic environment for that child's needs. we spend four and half hours playing, 

tutoring and teaching these children what they are missing either from home or from their school. the average reading level is two and a half grade levels behind what grade they are in. amazing, huh? anyway my story concentrates on a kindergartner named Addy. Addy is the daughter of two of the employees of breakthrough. She is an adorable little girl. She has bright blue eyes and long curly blonde hair - but what caught me completely off guard and something

   i cannot get off of my mind is her voice. imagine a sea of black children with a tiny little white girl stuck in the middle. Addy looks like she comes out of a gap catalog but when she speaks, all you hear is a deep, husky old black ladies voice.  it is the 

funniest thing you have ever heard. i feel like it is not real.  she says things like:

 " that's what i'm talking about!" 

"i ain't done with that."

"come on jamel, give it back. it beese mine."

(side note: i know beese is not a word, but that is what she says.)

thought dad would enjoy that.

i will have to do a video recording of her and get it posted up here for you guys to see.

you would love it.

2. i cannot explain the feelings breakthrough give me, 

besides the fact that i can see myself doing that for the rest of my

life. there is something about it that just clicks. something

that brings me a sense of completion. like i am right in my element, 

exactly where i am supposed to be. those kids need so much attention.

there are so many areas where they are in desperate need of a watchful eye. if you think of it, please pray for both them and i as i continue to work there.

3. i am thinking of double majoring. i think i am adding psychology.

it interests me so much and i feel it would be of benefit.  oh and i think i might take two languages, both greek and swedish. both sound incredible. 

 

4. i found a sweet study abroad program.

i can go almost anywhere and it will cost me the

same exact it costs me to attend North Park.

not a bad deal, eh?

5. tomorrow i take my first test.

math.

pray i do well.

i am a little nervous.

i have set a goal and i must achieve it.

i have studied for what seems like forever.

hopefully that pays off.

6. i miss you guys.

not in a crying, weeping way.

just in a way that i could grab a dinner or cup of joe with you all, get a hug.

i love you all.

you have blessed me.

thank you.

goodnight.

 

the blame game

i was not asking her to defend herself, i was asking her to say sorry for hurting me.

for speaking rudely.

for being inconsiderate.

i did not want to talk because i knew it was going to end up being a blame game, 

and i was not up for the challenge. we have "the defender" in corner 1 and "the blamed one" in corner 2. it always ends the same, in every friendship of mine.

i always end up saying sorry and asking to be forgiven.

and here is the problem: we were all uncomfortable yesterday, but we tried to make the best of it. we tried to laugh it off, and speak nicely to one another - yet she was not too excited about that idea. so we were left with a debby downer and yet we are getting punished for not liking her acting like that.

i am so sick of apologizing for stupid stuff.

babylon

today's story:

as i am sitting in introduction to bible today, 

i look in front of me and i see a kid wearing quite an

intriguing jacket.

on the back of the jacket, is the name brand and a logo.

the logo reads: "internationally known."

if that is not buying into babylon, i don't know what is.

grace

"daddy, daddy do you miss me?

  the way i crawled upon your knee?

  those childish games of hide and seek seem a million miles away.

  am i lost in some illusion? 

  or am i what you thought i'd be?

  

now it seems, i've found myself in need to be forgiven.

is there still room upon that knee?

if i give my life, if i lay it down, 

can you turn this life around, around?

can i be made clean by this offering or my soul?

can i be made whole again?

have i labored off of nothing?

trying to make it on my own.

fear to reach out to the hand who understands me?

say 'i'd rather be here all alone.'

it's all my fault, i sit and wallow in seclusion.

as if i had no hope at all, i guess truth becomes you.

i have seen it all motion, that pride becomes before a fall.

if i give my life, if i lay it down, 

can you turn this life around around?

can i be made clean by this offering of my soul?

can i be made whole again?

can i offer up this simple prayer?

pray it finds a simple ear?

a scratch in your infinite time?

not withstanding my fallings not withstanding my crimes?

jennifer knapp/"whole again"/kansas

"if we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive 

us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness."

I John 1:9

something about that song today hit me.

rest in His forgiveness.

"My grace is sufficient for you, 

for my power is made perfect in weakness."

2 Corinthians 12:9

chicago.

our downtown adventure.

so much fun!

"The Lord God made garments of skin for Adam and his wife and clothed them."

Genesis 3:21

As I was reading Genesis 3 I came across this verse and 

something about it caught my attention. 

The verses prior to this one tell of Adam and Eve's sin and the fall of man.

It also talks about how ashamed they suddenly are of their nakedness and how 

they frantically try to cover themselves in hopes to hide, and then leads us into verse 21. 

What is so incredible about this verse is the fact that despite their blatant sin the Lord still is there helping them. If that does not show love, I don't know what does.

incredible, huh?

sometimes we miss these little signs of His care for us.

maybe we should start looking closer in hopes to have a deeper understanding of His love.

He has much to show us.